


Reasons to Be Pretty

by kennagirl



Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Crack, I Don't Even Know, I Tried, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-21
Updated: 2013-06-21
Packaged: 2017-12-15 15:51:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/851330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kennagirl/pseuds/kennagirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chad is angry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reasons to Be Pretty

**Author's Note:**

> Title borrowed from the play of the same name, because it made sense at the time. Thanks to Nickie for typing while I tried to synthesize our combined caffeine-fueled ramblings into something with a smidgen of plot.

Chad stood over the prone figure on the ground, holding a rolled up newspaper. He gave an evil smirk as he swatted the paper in the palm of his hand. "Now Jensen, there can only be one." He took a step closer and raised the newspaper high.

"No, no, please don't," squealed Jensen. "Please don't hit me anymore."

"Oh, but you see I must," sneered Chad. "I'm supposed the pretty face of the WB, I mean, CW. And yet you have taken my spot. I will NOT stand for this."

"No, Chad, please don't-"

Jared burst in the door carrying a marshmallow gun. "Chad, don't do it!"

"But Jared, you don't understand, he's prettier than me. He has to go."

Jared cocked the marshmallow gun, "No Chad, this isn't the way. He may be prettier than you, but you just have to live with that."

"No I don't!"

Jensen twitched feebly on the ground, "Please Jared, help me..."

Jared glanced at Jensen and lowered the gun. He held up his hand and said, "Chad, let's be rational about this. When you first came onto  _Gilmore Girls_ , I thought you were prettier than me, but I didn't do anything like this. Instead I decided to be your friend."

"Oh boo-hoo, so you're a bigger person than me! You already had more fans than I did, so I had to be prettier. He has more fans than I do, and he's better-looking. It's not fair."

"You know what's not fair? You tried to steal Rory from me. But you know what, SHE CHOSE ME!" Jared lifted the gun again and shot five marshmallows square into Chad's chest.

Chad looked down to where he had been struck and fell to his knees. He then curled up on the ground in the fetal position, sobbing. Jared ran over to where Jensen lay naked, tied with kite string. He brushed his fingertips across Jensen's forehead and whispered, "Are you okay?"

Jensen nodded slowly and murmured, "Thank you."

Jared kissed him and said, "It's enough that you're okay." He cut the kite strings with his pocket knife and lifted Jensen up to carry him out the door, leaving Chad Michael Murray wallowing in his not-as-prettiness.


End file.
